i am now a working woman ...

i start working on monday. actually, i started working like three weeks ago. i have not been assigned a classroom or students. i still have no idea what i am going to teach exactly and the time that i have been at the high school has been entirely uncomfortable and tiring.

i have a lot of ideas for comic strips but I need to work on some characters and maybe a new style. I have started a list of all the ideas so I do intend to draw more.

The problem is that I have to work on curriculum stuff for my class that I will hopefully get next week. The students don't take their fall finals until the end of next week so I will probably not know for a while. I did get a brief mention from the principal that I will teach at least one remedial Biology class and maybe one Algebra I class. Other than that, who knows?

Well, off to work.

I FEEL LIKE I AM HOLDING A TON OF TEETERING BRICKS

I don't know what is wrong with me these days. I feel like I am constantly on the verge of tears. My life has suddenly gotten more difficult and complicated. There are so many balls in the air and I just don't know which one to catch.

I feel like a lot of the time I cannot say these things to people I know because they are either 1.) going through the same thing I am with much more grace, 2.) stressed because of their own circumstances, or 3.) deeply religious and thinks I should be able to leave it to God and not worry.

All I can think of in this time is the pile of lists that I need to work on. Sometimes I am able to calm down a little and think about Matthew 6:26.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

I know that I should let go and that things have a way of working themselves out. I know that God does take care of things in my life way better than I could have. But I cannot stop thinking that if I leave one thing undone or just let things work out by themselves, nothing will work out.

I've decided to just write everything down and then just leave it alone. I will do what I can with what I have and trust that God will take care of the rest.

Issue 1:
The priest that brought me into the Catholic church and confirmed me last year passed away last Wednesday. I cannot stop thinking about him. His casket is at the church right now and I am afraid to see him. Yesterday when I went to mass, I didn't know that he was there with us until we went up for the Eucharist. I was shocked. Not scared but it just seemed so real. I could not help but feel as if I lost a family member. I wish I had spent more time getting to know him. I wish I wasn't out of town last weekend and I wish I had gone to mass that Sunday so that I could have seen him one last time. For the short time that I knew him, he made a deep impact on me.

Issue 2:
I need to lease my apartment or lose $4,000 defaulting on my lease. I thought I had found someone to take over my lease but the boy backed out this morning. There have been a few more people interested but I need to get this stuff done within the week.

Issue 3:
I have to take my final certification exam tomorrow. The subject is math. I do not feel prepared. I have tonight to study.

Issue 4:
Final exams, etc. are starting up. I am not really worried about the exams but I missed a lab in my Native Plants course that I need to make up. I have a doctor's note but the teacher scheduled all the make up tomorrow morning when I have my certification exam. I told her over a month ago that I had this exam. I hope she lets me take it another day.

Issue 5:
I need to find an apartment in Galveston and move in very soon after graduation. I have not even started looking yet and graduation is on the 5th of December. I feel like I need to pack and everything or I will not have enough time to finish everything.

Issue 6:
I am worried that I will not do well in my new job. This is an entirely new thing for me and I am scared.

Issue 7:
I need to get Shaq fixed. I need to find a better rabbit hutch for the two bunnies.

There is so much more but I'm just wasting time writing this all down. Time that I should spend studying and other stuff. Ugh. It's nice to vent. The knot in my stomach is somewhat loosened.

NEGLECTFUL IS MY NAME

So I have not really been posting in my blog because I am so busy. I only really have time to draw my comics, do school stuff and look for jobs. The end of college is near for me and I am scared. I think I may be close to finding a job but I still need to interview and all the places that I am interviewing for are not in Austin. So, that means that even if I do get the position, I will have to move away from Austin and Jordan for a year and a half. This makes me sad.

I cannot imagine what my life will be like in a few months. That is so scary to me. I have always been the type to make plans and know exactly what is coming for me. Not knowing is the worst. I officially have (including today) 17 more class days of college. After that, I have graduation and some optional finals. Then I am done.

THIS MAKES ME EXCESSIVELY HAPPY

I know I haven't blogged in a while but school is so much more hectic than I thought it would be. I am taking extra easy classes but I'm still a little behind in some readings and stuff.

But I saw this and wanted to share a little bit.

Also I just designed three new plush babies. I will post them in my store when they are done. They are going to be eggplants, corn cobs, and strawberries! If I have time, I will work on a watermelon slice.

I must get back to work. Front Street Festival is Saturday!

I AM THE KILLER OF ALL GOOD THINGS

Look what I found yesterday:


I thought it was so pretty and unique and I had to have it for myself. I made Jordan stop the car on the side of the street so I could pick it. Then we commenced out venturing adventure. We went to Academy and when we got back to the car, it was dead.

I am very sorry.

SONG MEMORIES

It's really strange listening to a song that you've loved all your life and remembering all the memories that you've had to that song. Some are funny, some are sad, some are purely frustrating. It's even weirder when your realize that your life has paralleled the lyrics in that song. It forces me to wonder if I had never listened to or like that song, would I not have had those memories to start with? Did the song predict my future? Did I make my past fit in with that song? Was it all coincidence?

LUMP IS KING

So last night I went out and got some stuff to sort of redesign her area. I got her a new watering box. It holds 3 liters so she will never run out of water when I'm not at home. She's been drinking a lot more than I anticipate a lot of the days. I also got her a new rug that doesn't curl up if she runs too fast off of it. It's pretty nice and makes the area look a lot cleaner and more tidy.

Other than that, everything is the same.