so i am at work again ... ugh. the good thing is that this is my last week here in this two room basement hell hole.

i am looking forward to moving into my new apartment in austin on saturday. i haven't been very happy in a while and i am hoping that moving back to austin will help. i kind of don't think it will help because i don't really have the will to do anything ... i mean if i could, i would really just like to lay in my new apartment and sleep. i don't want to have to walk around austin especially when it is so hot ... and it kind of sucks because i have no idea how to get around austin by myself in the car. 

i think i am going to take my premed classes after all ... i am still not sure though. when i decide to just fuck it and drop the classes, i feel bad because of all the time i wasted doing things that would make my resume look impressive to medical schools. i mean ... i volunteered at the children's hospital all through high school, i took all the classes and tests that i needed for an i.b. high school diploma, i took extra math and science courses that i didn't have to take and could have instead taken an art class or even just an off period, i worked at utmb for three summers ... but on the other hand ... if i don't just drop now, i still have to do organic chemistry and physics for two semesters plus the labs, biochemistry, a prep class for my MCATs, take my MCATs, volunteer or intern for a local hospital and change bandages and see gross stuff, come back and work at utmb for possibly two more summers or find a job in austin that gives me some medical experience, do applications for medical schools, go on interviews, and actually go to medical school for at least four years and end up with some crappy doctor job that makes look at disgusting cases and that i will be unhappy at ... but on the other hand ... i will make a lot of money (but only after like 10 years of schooling and being an intern) and i can switch jobs and be a teacher or a counselor (which i could have done just out of college). 

i think i am probably going to just end up taking the classes and probably not get into medical school anyway because my gpa is terrible and i don't think i could ever get a decent MCAT score. 

i am now annoyed and i don't want to blog in this window anymore.